"When we consistently suppress and distrust our intuitive knowingness, looking instead for authority, validation, and approval from others, we give our personal power away." Shakti Gawain
One morning Tim called me and asked what I was up to- My response “I am meditating – I did a really powerful Kundalini meditation that moved a lot of energy around, so much that it freaked out toby (our dog) and I had to stop. Now I am journaling and writing my affirmations” – His response and the tone seemed to be judgmental and disappointed. I immediately noticed that this was my perception of what had just happened and not his actual response. I closed my eyes and played out his response in my head only this time I pictured two different scenarios; In one , the judgmental vibe of “you’re not good enough, you’re lazy and what you believe in is silly and not real work” & In the second I envisioned him saying “amazing babe, sounds like a really productive morning and powerful work” – the tone was adoring and impressed – the main difference between both scenarios – In one version he is validating my morning and in the other he is negatively judging it. I noticed how internally my vibration was immediately lowered, feeling drained, uninspired and a bit depressed in the first scenario and how the second brought me to a sunny beach and got my creative juices flowing. My vibration had been lifted by his validation. WTF! J Seeking outside validation has been a demon of mine for as long as I can remember and that shit had to go!
Meditation mantra: Silently recite to yourself “Dear self-judgment and need for outside validation, thank you for all you have done for me throughout my life, but I am ready to release you. I appreciate the lessons you have taught me and the purpose you have served, but I am now ready to release you. Inhale “let”, exhale “go”/ inhale “let”, exhale “go”/ inhale “let”, exhale “go”.
Is this speaking to you? Have you ever got a new outfit and went out thinking that you looked great (or maybe the other way around) and then either your partner or a group of friends made a comment on how you looked. Did their opinion completely over-ride your own? I know for me in the past, others opinions have not only overwritten my own, but they have left me questioning what my own thoughts even were. Or how about a new relationship? This was a huge one for me growing up. Are you afraid to be yourself and validating your own self-worth based on whether or not another person is interested in you, I know I have many times! This also applies to our bosses at work, our family members or sharing our creative talents and putting them out there for the world to see.
So why do we look outside ourselves for validation and self-worth? In truth, the majority of the time our perception of what someone else is thinking is WRONG! We have no idea what someone else is really thinking. Aside from the fact that we cannot read their minds, their opinion is a reflection of them and the story that is going on in their own lives. It does not have anything to do with you or with me. It can be altered on whether or not they woke up in a good mood, had coffee yet, felt good about their own outfit and appearance, got a promotion or fired that day. There are a million factors that will play into someone else’s response. A general rule of thumb; if they are happy and at peace with their own lives, their outlook on others will be uplifting as well. If someone is in a rough place, there is a good chance that they will share that negativity through their opinions, reactions and all things geared towards you (even if those responses have nothing to do with you!). This is not to say that the opinions of those that know you best and constructive criticism are worthless, it just means listen to others, reflect when you need to, but put your own personal beliefs at the top of the pedestal. So while your imagination gets to work on creating an entire played out scenario of the experience, the truth is that it is just a made up scene in the movie of our minds. So why not create a kick ass movie where you are the star? I’ll tell you why, because shining is scary as hell. We fear our own greatness because it creates vulnerability – it puts us on the chopping block- naked in the middle of time square, mid-day for everyone to see. Nothing great that has ever been created came out of a place of comfortability. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to get vulnerable to make real shifts in our lives, break down the barriers and climb the mountain of our dreams.
So the next time you are wondering if you should post that photo, are anxiously waiting by the phone to see a reaction from your message, or decide to share your beautiful and fucking amazing gifts with the world – stop, take a pause and ask yourself – How do I feel? Do I like this? Will this harm anyone or lift them up and positively change their lives? If you feel good about it – then don’t hesitate!
Our minds are powerful. Our imaginations are a gift. “Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.” ― Mahatma Gandhi Use your imagination to create the movie of your life in a positive way, create the story you want to live. Create it without fear. You can choose to spend your life worrying about what others may or may not be thinking of you, or you can choose to live your life fearlessly and fully. I promise you that if you choose to press forward bravely, with self-love, compassion and faith you will create a life far beyond your wildest dreams! All you need to do is step aside and get out of your own way.
So please, Love Yo’ Self! Because the truth is you are pretty fucking amazing! You are talented, we all have gifts from God, the Universe, whatever your personal belief system is, we have all been placed on this earth for a special purpose and have a piece of this divine higher power within us. We were meant to shine! We are meant to stand out and rise up! Please don’t deny us of your GREATNESS!
Every time you catch yourself worrying about what someone else might think or are afraid to share your creative self and raw soul – “The REAL YOU”-….pause, breathe, close your eyes and locate this feeling within your body, listen to the chatter running through your mind about it and then release it. There is a major source of energy out there that we have the power to tap into, which will allow us to create synchronicities, coincidences and bring our desires to life. These negative vibrations of fear of what others will think of us will lower our frequency and cut us off from that source power. Our job is to call upon this energy with a clear and receptive vibration. We need to make sure we are open to receiving and not blocking this frequency through toxic layers of negativity, fear, anxiety, or a belief in lack. Once you have done the work and cleaned up your side of the street, you can tap into this source energy and step into your own divine power.
Although it does not matter what I think, I love you, you are fucking magical and I BELIEVE IN YOU!
~be barefoot. be wild. be free.